Thursday, July 18, 2013
Saturday, April 20, 2013
Quit {fill-in-the-blank}
PowerTeacher makes me feel like I should have a cape and fly and maybe be able to to deflect bullets with snazzy gold bracelets. It's the information management system we use at work. On the teacher end, we take roll, make adorable seating charts with the students' actual school photos, and enter grades. No more paper gradebooks or little pink plastic solar-powered calculators.
It is glorious.
As long as it works.
A couple of weeks ago, my laptop lost the ability to log on to PowerTeacher. Crisis status! Panic mode, people. It meant that I had to do all the grade-entering at my desktop at work. Do you know how many papers I grade? Do you know how much "free time" I have to enter those grades while I am at work? Close to none. Most of the grading magic takes place from home, using my laptop. AHHHHHHHHHH!!!
I sent an email to Doug-the-Apple-guy-and-IT-director. He said that new Mac OS updates had changed the way we accessed the program, and in his brilliance, he magically created a way to make PowerTeacher's gradebook function as an app. Yeeeee hawwwwww!!! Except not. It didn't work for my little Air.
Doug-the-Apple-guy-and-IT-director probably heard my screams across campus. Either that or he checks email really well. I had to take my laptop to him for a diagnosis.
The first thing he asked was, "Why do you have so many apps open at once?"
"What?"
"Why do you have most of these apps open? Are you working between programs?"
*silence accompanied by blank stare*
"See all those tiny white lines under the icons at the bottom of your screen?"
"Barely."
"Those little lines mean you have all those programs open."
"Really? How can they be open if I clicked the red circles and closed the windows?"
"Closing the window doesn't close the program. It's still open and going. You have to go up to the top, click on the name of the program, and select Quit."
"Oh."
"Has your computer been running really slowly?"
"Super slowly."
"That's why."
*silent vow never to leave all the apps open again*
There's more to the story, but I need to camp here for now because I had one of those parable moments that my sweet friend Jane used to talk about.
I thought I had closed out the programs just because I couldn't see the window or the mini icon of the window on my computer screen. Yet the little white lines said the programs were running, even though I couldn't see them. So. My. Life.
I have a tendency to get involved in lots of things. I am a visionary. I see EVERYTHING as a possibility. I see change, improvement, development, evolution (not the Darwin kind; the other kind), growth, etc. as a BIG adventure. So I tend to rush into pretty much everything. It worked fairly well until I went back to work full time. And then... the speed at which MY processor operated ground... almost... to... a... halt.
And I realized that even though the Small Group window wasn't open on my screen, it was chattering away in the back of my mind. And even though the Cru Moms window wasn't flashing before my eyes, it was scampering with all the other things in the back of my brain. And even though the 20-or-so other things I'd committed to doing weren't on the screen all at once, they were slowly shutting me down.
God in his infinite grace gives us moments when we just can't handle everything anymore. This entire year has been one of those moments for me. I've spent months asking myself whether it was His call or my pride that led me to overcommit. An All-In sermon series at church shouldn't have brought me to a breakdown point, I didn't think. (Who on earth cuts back on things when the topic is All-In??? Couldn't be that I have an issue. Must be church leadership. My agenda is just perf... L.O.L. Yeah... no.)
I'm honestly beginning to think that my "well done" moments from the Lord come more from when I recognize that I need to say a guilt-free "no" than when I undertake another gargantuan program/project/task/activity. Less really is more... not in terms of commitment level, but in terms of the number of commitments.
So Jimmy and I have spent the past few months praying and studying and seeking counsel. Sometimes we were wise. Sometimes I have been an emotional basket case. Always God has been faithful.
Like Doug-the-Apple-guy-and-IT-director did for my computer by showing me how to Quit {whatever program/app} was slowly sucking away functionality on my computer, the Lord has been showing me how to Quit {whatever program/project/task/activity} has been sucking away my functionality in life. And by quit, I really mean QUIT. Guilt-free. Without stewing over it.
And what remains is the one thing that is needed (Luke 10:41-42).
The Lord is rebuilding my spiritual desktop. He has been defining His call for me: after Him comes family and then ministry in our jobs, church, and community. I'm learning what that looks like in practice. I've said no to a lot of things I never thought I would (sometimes openly and sometimes tacitly), and it has been freeing, and I have, for the first time in a long time, heard His voice clearly.
BRB... *worship moment*
When He whispers or brings circumstances that call me to open a new app in my life, I can hear and obey because now there is room to process and perform.
And that is glorious.
It is glorious.
As long as it works.
A couple of weeks ago, my laptop lost the ability to log on to PowerTeacher. Crisis status! Panic mode, people. It meant that I had to do all the grade-entering at my desktop at work. Do you know how many papers I grade? Do you know how much "free time" I have to enter those grades while I am at work? Close to none. Most of the grading magic takes place from home, using my laptop. AHHHHHHHHHH!!!
I sent an email to Doug-the-Apple-guy-and-IT-director. He said that new Mac OS updates had changed the way we accessed the program, and in his brilliance, he magically created a way to make PowerTeacher's gradebook function as an app. Yeeeee hawwwwww!!! Except not. It didn't work for my little Air.
Doug-the-Apple-guy-and-IT-director probably heard my screams across campus. Either that or he checks email really well. I had to take my laptop to him for a diagnosis.
The first thing he asked was, "Why do you have so many apps open at once?"
"What?"
"Why do you have most of these apps open? Are you working between programs?"
*silence accompanied by blank stare*
"See all those tiny white lines under the icons at the bottom of your screen?"
"Barely."
"Those little lines mean you have all those programs open."
"Really? How can they be open if I clicked the red circles and closed the windows?"
"Closing the window doesn't close the program. It's still open and going. You have to go up to the top, click on the name of the program, and select Quit."
"Oh."
"Has your computer been running really slowly?"
"Super slowly."
"That's why."
*silent vow never to leave all the apps open again*
There's more to the story, but I need to camp here for now because I had one of those parable moments that my sweet friend Jane used to talk about.
I thought I had closed out the programs just because I couldn't see the window or the mini icon of the window on my computer screen. Yet the little white lines said the programs were running, even though I couldn't see them. So. My. Life.
I have a tendency to get involved in lots of things. I am a visionary. I see EVERYTHING as a possibility. I see change, improvement, development, evolution (not the Darwin kind; the other kind), growth, etc. as a BIG adventure. So I tend to rush into pretty much everything. It worked fairly well until I went back to work full time. And then... the speed at which MY processor operated ground... almost... to... a... halt.
And I realized that even though the Small Group window wasn't open on my screen, it was chattering away in the back of my mind. And even though the Cru Moms window wasn't flashing before my eyes, it was scampering with all the other things in the back of my brain. And even though the 20-or-so other things I'd committed to doing weren't on the screen all at once, they were slowly shutting me down.
God in his infinite grace gives us moments when we just can't handle everything anymore. This entire year has been one of those moments for me. I've spent months asking myself whether it was His call or my pride that led me to overcommit. An All-In sermon series at church shouldn't have brought me to a breakdown point, I didn't think. (Who on earth cuts back on things when the topic is All-In??? Couldn't be that I have an issue. Must be church leadership. My agenda is just perf... L.O.L. Yeah... no.)
I'm honestly beginning to think that my "well done" moments from the Lord come more from when I recognize that I need to say a guilt-free "no" than when I undertake another gargantuan program/project/task/activity. Less really is more... not in terms of commitment level, but in terms of the number of commitments.
So Jimmy and I have spent the past few months praying and studying and seeking counsel. Sometimes we were wise. Sometimes I have been an emotional basket case. Always God has been faithful.
Like Doug-the-Apple-guy-and-IT-director did for my computer by showing me how to Quit {whatever program/app} was slowly sucking away functionality on my computer, the Lord has been showing me how to Quit {whatever program/project/task/activity} has been sucking away my functionality in life. And by quit, I really mean QUIT. Guilt-free. Without stewing over it.
And what remains is the one thing that is needed (Luke 10:41-42).
The Lord is rebuilding my spiritual desktop. He has been defining His call for me: after Him comes family and then ministry in our jobs, church, and community. I'm learning what that looks like in practice. I've said no to a lot of things I never thought I would (sometimes openly and sometimes tacitly), and it has been freeing, and I have, for the first time in a long time, heard His voice clearly.
BRB... *worship moment*
When He whispers or brings circumstances that call me to open a new app in my life, I can hear and obey because now there is room to process and perform.
And that is glorious.
Sunday, January 27, 2013
Small group sent...
Living together in biblical community is both the messiest and most glorious thing, but today was awesome. I should probably wait for the picture, but I'm too excited.
We sent our first small group girl into the mission field. She's going to South Africa to work with Christian Surfers International. She'll teach at surf camps for kids, where she'll share the gospel. This first trip is five months long, and she can't wait to see where it will lead. Neither can we.
This afternoon at small group she and her family came by for a time of prayer as they were headed to the airport. She sat in a chair in the middle of the room; the women laid hands on her, and the men stood around the women in a circle. We took turns praying over her for everything imaginable. Then their whole family jumped into their van and headed to the airport. I imagine her momma may still be crying. It's both hard and easy to let go, but for the time being, I know she's sad not to have her girl in the house.
Yet her momma knows... we all know... that the gospel is bigger than our comfort and our preference. What a joy to walk with this sweet family for the sake of the gospel. Prayers for Kat!
We sent our first small group girl into the mission field. She's going to South Africa to work with Christian Surfers International. She'll teach at surf camps for kids, where she'll share the gospel. This first trip is five months long, and she can't wait to see where it will lead. Neither can we.
This afternoon at small group she and her family came by for a time of prayer as they were headed to the airport. She sat in a chair in the middle of the room; the women laid hands on her, and the men stood around the women in a circle. We took turns praying over her for everything imaginable. Then their whole family jumped into their van and headed to the airport. I imagine her momma may still be crying. It's both hard and easy to let go, but for the time being, I know she's sad not to have her girl in the house.
Yet her momma knows... we all know... that the gospel is bigger than our comfort and our preference. What a joy to walk with this sweet family for the sake of the gospel. Prayers for Kat!
Saturday, January 26, 2013
Oh, the stuff...
Kelsey is away at college. Zane is a high school junior. Zack is in fifth grade. Surely we should see a slowing down in the accumulation of kid-stuff. Perhaps we should even be seeing a decrease in kid-stuff, like snow melting or something.
And yet I look out the back window as see a giant trampoline. Oh, the trampoline.
The trampoline came to live in the backyard during the Christmas of 2007. Our last house was basically built into the side of a hill, so we never had enough flat space to have a trampoline. When we moved into this house in October of 2007, we decided Kelsey was finally going to get the bouncy enclosure she'd long for all those years.
It was huge and heavy and pretty expensive for our family budget, but it happened. As Jimmy began to set it up, it dawned on us that this yard isn't as level as it looks from the window of the family room. So half the trampoline ended up buried in a trench and the other half is above ground. I hate that trampoline.
The kids jumped on it relentlessly from about December through March. Then spring came, and the clearing covered with leaves. And poison ivy sprouted. And running bamboo emerged. And snakes ventured forth. And spiders dropped in. And the trampoline became a different sort of hazard.
The enclosure took care of the falling-off aspect, but it also made for arena worthy of Hunger Games-hazard status. There might have even been a tracker-jacker nest nearby. At any rate, there was a yellow jacket nest close to where you'd step to climb into the enclosure opening.
That was the spring of 2008. This is the winter of 2013. And there sits the trampoline, covered in dead leaves and mildew and ice, at the moment. The only living thing I've seen down there in the past six months is a hawk that regularly uses the metal safety net frame as a perch for hunting snakes and mice. (When he catches a snake, he slurps it down like a spaghetti noodle. It both fascinating and disgusting at the same time.)
In June of 2012, I put two padlocks on the enclosure net at the request of an insurance agent with whom we were researching coverage. She said the pool and trampoline would have to have locks. The pool already had the required locking fence gates. I bought to little padlocks to guarantee trampoline compliance. Those locks have not be unlocked since that day.
To me, that says that we don't use the trampoline, and it can disappear. I am alone in that opinion.
Other than getting rid of the wall of plastic lawn toys (not lawn ornaments... those are treasures) lining the lower half of the driveway, nothing would thrill me more than to get rid of the rotting trampoline. It's half-buried anyway. I'm a little at a loss as to why 80% of the people in this house object to vehemently to getting rid of it.
OK, not really. It was a LOT of work to dig a trench that levels the trampoline next to the creek on the back edge of our property. Who wants to undo that? And those four months of jumping glory were epic. Plus, it's actually one of the last vestiges of middle-schoolness for our girl. I get all that. And yet, I'm thinking that it may make a tremendously fun addition to one sorority house in Chapel Hill.
And yet I look out the back window as see a giant trampoline. Oh, the trampoline.
The trampoline came to live in the backyard during the Christmas of 2007. Our last house was basically built into the side of a hill, so we never had enough flat space to have a trampoline. When we moved into this house in October of 2007, we decided Kelsey was finally going to get the bouncy enclosure she'd long for all those years.
It was huge and heavy and pretty expensive for our family budget, but it happened. As Jimmy began to set it up, it dawned on us that this yard isn't as level as it looks from the window of the family room. So half the trampoline ended up buried in a trench and the other half is above ground. I hate that trampoline.
The kids jumped on it relentlessly from about December through March. Then spring came, and the clearing covered with leaves. And poison ivy sprouted. And running bamboo emerged. And snakes ventured forth. And spiders dropped in. And the trampoline became a different sort of hazard.
The enclosure took care of the falling-off aspect, but it also made for arena worthy of Hunger Games-hazard status. There might have even been a tracker-jacker nest nearby. At any rate, there was a yellow jacket nest close to where you'd step to climb into the enclosure opening.
That was the spring of 2008. This is the winter of 2013. And there sits the trampoline, covered in dead leaves and mildew and ice, at the moment. The only living thing I've seen down there in the past six months is a hawk that regularly uses the metal safety net frame as a perch for hunting snakes and mice. (When he catches a snake, he slurps it down like a spaghetti noodle. It both fascinating and disgusting at the same time.)
In June of 2012, I put two padlocks on the enclosure net at the request of an insurance agent with whom we were researching coverage. She said the pool and trampoline would have to have locks. The pool already had the required locking fence gates. I bought to little padlocks to guarantee trampoline compliance. Those locks have not be unlocked since that day.
To me, that says that we don't use the trampoline, and it can disappear. I am alone in that opinion.
Other than getting rid of the wall of plastic lawn toys (not lawn ornaments... those are treasures) lining the lower half of the driveway, nothing would thrill me more than to get rid of the rotting trampoline. It's half-buried anyway. I'm a little at a loss as to why 80% of the people in this house object to vehemently to getting rid of it.
OK, not really. It was a LOT of work to dig a trench that levels the trampoline next to the creek on the back edge of our property. Who wants to undo that? And those four months of jumping glory were epic. Plus, it's actually one of the last vestiges of middle-schoolness for our girl. I get all that. And yet, I'm thinking that it may make a tremendously fun addition to one sorority house in Chapel Hill.
Thursday, January 24, 2013
Middle age...
So apparently, the fact that I alternately want to hug everyone or hide in my closet next to my snow boots is perfectly normal. Lovely.
While tons of my middle aged friends get to ride the hot flash roller coaster, I get mildly warm and take off my sweater, and I'm good. But the mood swings. Woo Hoo!
And then there's memory loss. I can't remember the last time I finished a complete
And then there's memory loss.
And forgetfulness.
And mild forgetfulness.
And mood swings.
And slight memory loss.
Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
While tons of my middle aged friends get to ride the hot flash roller coaster, I get mildly warm and take off my sweater, and I'm good. But the mood swings. Woo Hoo!
And then there's memory loss. I can't remember the last time I finished a complete
And then there's memory loss.
And forgetfulness.
And mild forgetfulness.
And mood swings.
And slight memory loss.
Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
Sunday, January 20, 2013
Hal on Facebook...
When I look at the Facebook status bar now, it reads, "How are you feeling, Norma?"
Is that supposed to make me hear the voice of HAL from 2001: A Space Odyssey?
Is that supposed to make me hear the voice of HAL from 2001: A Space Odyssey?
Tuesday, January 15, 2013
Seven months later...
Totally quit blogging for a while, but I feel like I want a place to trace my thoughts again. So here I am. Enter at your own risk.
I still miss my dad. He used to read this to keep up with what we were doing. That's largely why I blogged.
My brother, Robbie, lives on the family farm now. He may move for a graphic design job in either Atlanta or somewhere in Texas, but for the moment, he's cleaned out the mess that accumulated on the little 100 acres of fields and woods and is battling entropy in the farmhouse with all he's got.
Robbie and I texted a few times today. He found mine and Jimmy's wedding video. VHS. Archeological artifact. He also found a box of old coins. We know my uncle left them at the farm, but we don't know whether they were for just Robbie or for both of us. So we decided to sell them. We'll use the money to have the driveway repaired.
Kelsey went to Carolina. Loves it. Perfect fit. Joined sorority. Made Dean's List. Double majoring in Journalism and Psychology. Mission "Hark the Sound" = success.
Zane fought the Battle of APUSH. There were a few casualties, not the least of which was our Christmas. Overall, though, I think we all survived.
Zack hates math. We hate math on his behalf. We are not of the Math Tribe. Zack is also playing his second season of i9 flag football. Apparently we are of the Football Tribe.
Head Coach Jimmy is at it again.
Full-time teaching kicked my butt. Spring semester is better so far. We're just one week into it.
I'm teaching Honors English II, Honors Creative Writing, Journalism, and Middle School Creative Writing. I'm sure my butt will get kicked again at some point, but right now I'm in my happy place, so shhhhhh...
For reals, though, I love teaching 10th-grade English again. I never thought I'd return to a classroom other than as a parent, but it feels like home.
Last Monday, Jonathan and April moved out of our house. That's right... we had people living in our basement for six months. It's a long story, but we learned a lot. It was fun. It was challenging. Wouldn't trade it for the world. They moved to a two-year housesitting gig for a couple that went to Kenya as entrepreneurial missionaries. Pretty cool.
We are coming up on a year of leading a small group at church... one of 300+. It's a big church. In the last couple of months, three of the families that began in the group with us have left the group because of scheduling conflicts or because they're planting new groups in the near future, and three new families arrived at the same time. Cool how God works like that. We can tell the Lord is getting ready to do something big. Something substantial. For the first time in a year, we feel like the group is complete.
Uncle Arvel passed away unexpectedly in August. It was almost like losing Dad all over again. I'm glad Robbie and I have each other, though. Losing Dad and Arvel in less than a year has been hard. Understatement.
My momma is doing well. She's moving slowly, but she's moving, which is a huge praise. Her house has been Zane's study center for the past few days as he gets ready for his first semester exams. She began writing her memoirs, and for Christmas we got almost 50 pages of her early years. Pure treasure. There are some finer points of Southern culture (before you judge my capitalization, know that her maiden name is Southern, so THERE) that are quite entertaining.
I wish I were still in a women's Bible study. I miss that a LOT.
I miss my outside-of-schwork friends. I miss coffee dates. I miss shopping trips. I miss road trips. I miss the old Summer Bible Study. I miss sitting by the pool and laughing. I miss long walks through the neighborhood and longer walks on the beach. I miss ladies' nights out. I miss HUGE group email prayer lists. I miss going to Super Walmart for groceries and coming out with supplies for a craft project. I miss being able to park my car without having to have two empty spaces together.
I do love Pinterest, though.
Life changes. About the time I thought I'd never get out of the waking-up-and-packing-lunches-and-driving-carpool-before-sunrise routine, I sent my first baby to college. I like change, really. The same things over and over again are so boring. But I miss a few of those special things that belong to a different stage of life.
I still miss my dad. He used to read this to keep up with what we were doing. That's largely why I blogged.
My brother, Robbie, lives on the family farm now. He may move for a graphic design job in either Atlanta or somewhere in Texas, but for the moment, he's cleaned out the mess that accumulated on the little 100 acres of fields and woods and is battling entropy in the farmhouse with all he's got.
Robbie and I texted a few times today. He found mine and Jimmy's wedding video. VHS. Archeological artifact. He also found a box of old coins. We know my uncle left them at the farm, but we don't know whether they were for just Robbie or for both of us. So we decided to sell them. We'll use the money to have the driveway repaired.
Kelsey went to Carolina. Loves it. Perfect fit. Joined sorority. Made Dean's List. Double majoring in Journalism and Psychology. Mission "Hark the Sound" = success.
Zane fought the Battle of APUSH. There were a few casualties, not the least of which was our Christmas. Overall, though, I think we all survived.
Zack hates math. We hate math on his behalf. We are not of the Math Tribe. Zack is also playing his second season of i9 flag football. Apparently we are of the Football Tribe.
Head Coach Jimmy is at it again.
Full-time teaching kicked my butt. Spring semester is better so far. We're just one week into it.
I'm teaching Honors English II, Honors Creative Writing, Journalism, and Middle School Creative Writing. I'm sure my butt will get kicked again at some point, but right now I'm in my happy place, so shhhhhh...
For reals, though, I love teaching 10th-grade English again. I never thought I'd return to a classroom other than as a parent, but it feels like home.
Last Monday, Jonathan and April moved out of our house. That's right... we had people living in our basement for six months. It's a long story, but we learned a lot. It was fun. It was challenging. Wouldn't trade it for the world. They moved to a two-year housesitting gig for a couple that went to Kenya as entrepreneurial missionaries. Pretty cool.
We are coming up on a year of leading a small group at church... one of 300+. It's a big church. In the last couple of months, three of the families that began in the group with us have left the group because of scheduling conflicts or because they're planting new groups in the near future, and three new families arrived at the same time. Cool how God works like that. We can tell the Lord is getting ready to do something big. Something substantial. For the first time in a year, we feel like the group is complete.
Uncle Arvel passed away unexpectedly in August. It was almost like losing Dad all over again. I'm glad Robbie and I have each other, though. Losing Dad and Arvel in less than a year has been hard. Understatement.
My momma is doing well. She's moving slowly, but she's moving, which is a huge praise. Her house has been Zane's study center for the past few days as he gets ready for his first semester exams. She began writing her memoirs, and for Christmas we got almost 50 pages of her early years. Pure treasure. There are some finer points of Southern culture (before you judge my capitalization, know that her maiden name is Southern, so THERE) that are quite entertaining.
I wish I were still in a women's Bible study. I miss that a LOT.
I miss my outside-of-schwork friends. I miss coffee dates. I miss shopping trips. I miss road trips. I miss the old Summer Bible Study. I miss sitting by the pool and laughing. I miss long walks through the neighborhood and longer walks on the beach. I miss ladies' nights out. I miss HUGE group email prayer lists. I miss going to Super Walmart for groceries and coming out with supplies for a craft project. I miss being able to park my car without having to have two empty spaces together.
I do love Pinterest, though.
Life changes. About the time I thought I'd never get out of the waking-up-and-packing-lunches-and-driving-carpool-before-sunrise routine, I sent my first baby to college. I like change, really. The same things over and over again are so boring. But I miss a few of those special things that belong to a different stage of life.
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