Sunday, August 17, 2008

Dress Code Mom



Humility is a good thing, but learning to be humble isn't particularly fun.

For the past three years I been involved with the dress code assembly at our kids' (Christian) school. At one point, I would walk down the halls and hear girls yell, "Hey... Dress Code Mom!" It became sort of a running joke. The first year was wildly fun. The second, moderately fun. Last year, ugh...

Last year I was in charge of the whole deal. Now, I don't have a whole lot of sense, but what little sense I do have, I used to ask my sweet friend and fellow crusader-for-girls-to-make-wise-choices, Jenn, to talk about modesty. I stuck with two other tasks... producing a video of a panel of guys who gave their candid opinions of modest and immodest fashions and directing the fashion show of modest, dress-code-friendly fashion trends for the year.

Somewhere along the way I got the brilliant idea of asking the moms to stay after for a little devotional and discussion of the dress code. In my dreams, I'd seen it as a giant encouragement session where moms would share and hug and agree to treasure their little princesses all the days of their lives. In reality... not so much. But more on that later.

The video rocked. Props to my bud, Jason. If you are one of the micro-numbers of people I've not bugged to watch it yet, you can see it by clicking here. (And if you are one of the mega-numbers of people I've asked to watch it, but you've blown me off each time: 1) Shame on you; and 2) The link will work for you too.)

The fashion show was amazing. The girls wore their own clothes, but they dressed in a variety of super-cute, super-fashionable, modest outfits. I wrote the script. And there's where the ugliness started.

When I first started to prepare for the fashion show, I had a question about one point in the dress code. In the school handbook, it says that girls may wear capri pants that are at least mid-calf in length. Mid-calf, huh? Wonder what they consider mid-calf, I pondered. Better safe than sorry, I thought, so I had Kelsey put on a pair of capris that were borderline. I snapped a digital photo and emailed it to the principal in charge of dress code for girls. She said "NOT dress code. NOT mid-calf." Okee Dokee.

We worked it into the script and one model had a pair of capris that were cuffed. With the cuffs turned up, the pants were out of dress code. Turned down, they were fine. That's what the script said.

Once the fashion show was over, Jenn spoke about choosing to be royalty as opposed of opting for being "common." After all, we are daughters of the King. She rocked. Always does.

Then the middle and high school girls headed out for the last of their opening day assemblies and we stayed in the Fine Arts Center with the moms. Remember, I thought it was going to be a love fest. With that in mind, I thought the best thing to do would be have a little devotional to encourage the moms with God's Word. Sadly, the dress code principal had to leave to attend another meeting, so when question time came around.... Whoa! That was intense. I had NO idea capri length was so controversial.

I was floored by the sense of entitlement I was hearing. The outright questioning of authority. The lack of submission to the rules of the school that existed before any of the families applied to attend the school.

And then I was humbled. I heard my own voice saying almost exactly the same things that the other moms were saying. Only instead of it being my actual voice in the moment, it was an echo of my voice from the past, when I sat across the desk from a principal, explaining how ridiculous the dress code was at our previous school. Right there in that moment, I repented in my heart for my lack of respect for the leaders of our last school.

Thankfully, Jenn was there to bail me out. She jumped in and pointed out what an excellent reputation the school has and how many people who want to be there can't go there, for whatever reason. I am so grateful the Lord put Jenn there at that moment to be the voice of reason, reminding us of the privilege of Christian education and our duty as believers to submit to authority. It was way cool.

I have since learned that the way to change something is through prayer. Without fail, either the Lord intervenes and changes the situation or...even greater... He graciously changes my heart. He is so good.

So... Dress Code Mom is now officially retired from her former duties. Tomorrow morning I will step into a school classroom for the first time in 14 years to teach students how to write about the world from a Christian world view.

Emily P will speak about modesty to the mothers and daughters. Pray for her.

And pray for me too. I am so very excited about the new adventure and eager to see what awesome things... beyond all I can ask or imagine... the Lord is going to do.


1 comment:

Jenn said...

Oh goodness... memories! I had totally forgotten about the q & a. You did handle things wonderfully - you were merciful where I would have been snarky in your shoes. I'm so glad I was there to help. I am looking forward to our next collaboration. In the meantime, have fun at school!