Apparently 46 is the ideal age. It has to be true; Bill and Lynda said so on the radio this morning. Supposedly we're settled in our careers, comfortable in our families, secure in our finances, and still young enough to enjoy our settled, comfortable, secure lives. Good to know.
Unfortunately, I feel very unsettled.
Or maybe I'm bored.
I don't know.
I have a friend who is continually asking for feedback on his/her teaching via all sorts of social media, and I feel pretty guilty. And tired. I'm just not up to asking everyone to tell me how I'm doing. To be honest, it's all I can do to focus on pleasing my Audience of One. I feel like a pretty big failure.
I've learned lots of lessons this year, though, so I guess that's good. I've learned that I'd all but stopped learning for a while; I've changed that.
I've learned that being a teacher without any kids at home is completely different from being a teacher with kids. As a parent I'm more aware of the bigger picture than I was when I taught before Kelsey was born. Back then I thought that a student's entire world should be academics with maybe a little sports on the side and an optional sprinkling of youth group. Walking through the student years with my own babies, I realize what a small portion of real life those things are. I suppose school is only the tip of the proverbial iceberg. So much more "becoming" in life happens under the surface.
I've learned that kids are beat down on a regular basis. Parents make demands. Teachers make demands. Coaches make demands. Friends make demands. Employers make demands. Almost everyone demands 100% effort, 100% of the time. Almost everyone is telling them they can/should do better. And instead of spurring them on, very often it's beating them down. We're raising a spectacular generation of kids who are perfectionistic performers or rebellious quitters. There are very few who fall in the middle.
I just want to let the kids know that God made them exactly the way He intended to make them so that in Christ they will bring glory to Him. Some kids are academics. Some kids are mechanics. And it's an awesome thing to be either, if that's the life the Creator has written in His book.
I hate feeling meh when I think of my teaching job.
Maybe I should just go back to selling real estate.
1 comment:
Dear sweet friend,
Eternal timeline. That's where you are working..through your teaching and love for your students, you are showing them Jesus. That's eternity stuff. (and where, I think, our 'Audience of One' wants our focus)
I don't have to watch you teach, interview your students, or talk to the school's admin to know what kind of job you're doing. You love Jesus. You love your family. And you have a passion for kids.
You are doing a great job and I'm certain that if you peel back the layers of enemy-induced doubt, you'll hear Jesus say "well done."
It's a blessing to know you. Hugs.
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