5 Things that Scare Away Snow...

I have lived in this area of the fabled rain-snow-line my entire life. After years of "The Snow is Coming! The Snow is Coming!"only to be followed by a little jig we call "Oops We Missed It Again," I've discovered five things that scare away an impending snow storm. I'm going to take a gamble in sharing these secrets, as people I know ... in my own family even (MOM!) ... don't like snow. I trust you will use your newfound knowledge for good (snow) and not evil (no snow).

1. Parking your car in a different spot than you normally park. Parking facing out (if you normally pull in headlights first) = Strike 1. Parking at the end of the driveway, facing the street = Strike 2. Parking on the street, facing whatever direction you drive to get out of the neighborhood = Strike 3. We're out of the running for some good snow.

2. Failing to purchase bread, milk, and/or eggs within 48 hours of the predicted snow. They are staples. We can't risk running out of them. And once again, for our friends who have been transplanted from other parts to our lovely area... no... we don't make french toast every time it snows. It's just a coincidence that our must-have-staples are the ingredients for a yummy breakfast.

3. Not doing homework. OK kids... do you want snow or not? If so... get that homework done!!!

4. Bringing home extra work from the office/school so that you will have something to work on while you're stuck at home until it's safe to drive.*

5. Getting snow stuff out of storage before it starts to snow. "Stuff" includes ski pants, sleds, shovels, skis, snowboards, snow boots, etc. If it helps you have fun in the snow, it MUST remain in storage until YOU are ready to walk out in the snow and play.

You see... evidently southern snow is very, very shy. Or sneaky. At any rate, if you act like you know it's coming, you'll scare it away for certain. (The only exception is the grocery store trip. Just don't buy something obviously snow-related like hot chocolate mix or marshmallows. Stick to the staples.) So, for the love of all things cold and flaky and wet, PLEASE be good and let the snow fall without fear.

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*When is it safe to drive after a snow? It is safe to drive after a snow when ALL the snow is gone. Do not even think about using four-wheel drive or chains or any of those anti-snow gadgets to get around on the roads. You may have done it a million times before if you're from another area like, say, the North or the Midwest. But people here don't know how to drive in the snow. We hardly ever get any because folks are always doing ridiculous things like parking cars in the street, not going to the grocery store, skipping homework, planning to be out of work, and unpacking snow equipment early. So it doesn't matter how great a snow-driver you are if everyone else on the road is clueless, does it? If you do go out, be patient and stop saying bad things about southern drivers. Remember, a southern driver warned you to stay off the road in the snow.