How to make a turkey explode in the oven on Thanksgiving Day...

I am not gifted in the kitchen.  Well, that's not true.  I have done some lovely tie-dying in the kitchen.  I've whipped up tons of homemade playdough.  Sometimes I work on lesson plans on the laptop on my kitchen counter.  I guess I am a little gifted in the kitchen; I just can't cook.

OK, that's not true either.  I can cook.  I do cook.  I just don't like to cook.  I'd rather clean the house five times over than cook one meal.  True story.  

Thankfully, my sweet hubby doesn't really care.  And my kids don't know any better.  And my mom and dad, who come for the big days (Thanksgiving and Christmas and various birthdays) still smile like they did when I brought home the gold spray-painted plaster of Paris imprint of my hand from Vacation Bible School.  

All that to say, it really shouldn't have surprised me when Jimmy took the turkey out of the oven and there was a fault line running from wing to wing.  The best we can figure, although neither of us heard it, the turkey exploded while it was cooking.  

Apparently, that's the reason why they tell you to thaw it first and don't cook it with water in the pan.  Something about steam build-up inside the bird yada, yada, yada.  I think it otherwise went pretty well, considering at 8:00 on Thanksgiving morning it was frozen solid.  After six hours of cooking at 400 degrees, it reached a toasty, moist 193 degrees on the inside.  It tasted good; my momma and daddy smiled and said so.

*   *   *   *   *   *   *

Cookies before dinner?  There was a lot of that going around too.  Gramma made the traditional family ginger snaps. Mmmmmmmmmmm...!

And in other Thanksgiving dinner adventures, I completely forgot about gravy because I hate the stuff.  Instead of buying Sister Schubert's Parker House rolls, I accidentally got Sister Schubert's Sausage Wrap rolls.  I cut up a mini watermelon and a cantaloupe and forgot to serve them.  And I forgot the buy pepper. :-/ But you know what?  We had one of the sweetest, most laughter-filled family times we've had in years.  Thank goodness God's blessings don't depend on my domestic arts skills.