Twenty-one...

Twenty-one years ago today, I married my best friend, my knight-in-shining-armor. I can't believe it's been 21 years, and yet, I can barely remember what life was like before we were married.

I had an old friend who is not married send me a little note today, saying that she'd love to hear the secret of our marriage... how we still love each other so much after so many years. And another funny friend who commented that she was dumbfounded that we still LIKE each other after so many years. How?

As those of you who know me well know, I'm a pretty transparent person. What you see is what you get. So I'm going to share the secret of a long and happy marriage, of keeping the flame of passion burning bright, of conflict-resolution, of maintaining a genuine affection, of growing closer as the years go by.

The secret is Jesus. It's true. No matter how many years you spend trying to find the "right" person, it all comes down to the fact that the only perfectly "right" person is Jesus. And until you have Him as the love of your life, no earthly Prince Charming will ever begin to compare. My mom had a HUGE piece of godly wisdom for me as Jimmy and I began dating. She said, "Norma, in just about everything else you find in life, two halves make a whole. But there's one big exception. In marriage, two halves don't make a whole. Only two wholes make a whole. You've got to be complete in Christ before you'll ever have a successful marriage." Always listen to the wisdom of a godly mother. She was so very right.

When we got married one of our wedding gifts was a little plaque that read: "The secret of marriage is not in finding the right person, but in being the right person." It drives me crazy bookstore plaques carry so much wisdom, but it's true. Hand-in-hand with knowing Jesus comes the realization of our tendency to be totally self-absorbed. When we start to know Who He is and what He has done, is doing, and will do on our behalf, then we get a inkling in our hearts that it really is all about Him. And when two people work with all the hearts to know and love Jesus, then He does-that-thing-that-He-does with the love they have for each other. What was a spark of human love turns into a bonfire of Jesus-fueled love--for Him, yes, but also for each other. And Jesus-fueled love is eternal. It never runs out.

So today I am praising our Heavenly Father for His goodness and grace for sending to me, a totally self-absorbed sinner, a Knight-in-Shining-Armor who teaches me to respect and to love my knight-in-shining-armor. There is no woman in the history of this world who is more blessed than I am. God gave me the Ephesians 3:20-21 man, beyond all I could ask or imagine.

Now I'm off to celebrate the first twenty-one years with the love of my life...